The words following are a selected account from the Balled of the Boot: a story of a young man searching for a pair of boots in the wide world. Starting in Bosnia and continuing through Croatia, Slovenia, Hungary, Slovakia, Poland, Germany, and Belgium to its end in Koln Germany.
The actors in this ballad are:
Mr. Berger – Our Hero
Mr. Ludy – Customer care and Quality assurance (Savior)
Mr. Bruce – Wise man and guide from Mr. Berger’s home in the USA
Our balled begins with Mr. Berger singing and dancing down a mountain from a quiet overlook in Sarajevo, Bosnia. His joy was cut short however when unbeknownest to him his beloved and trusted boots began to Fray and separate. As Mr. Berger finished climbing down the hill and made the kilometers long trek back to his hostel he began to feel a little bit of a breeze on his toes. Unsure of what could be the cause he inspected his shoe to discover that the leather upper of the boot had begun to Fray and was separating from the solid Rubber Sole.
Worried and unsure, Mr. Berger contacted his father immediately and asked him to contact the wise man Mr. Bruce. Mr. Bruce contacted the manufacturers and made sure that the warrenty on the trusty boots was still good.
Unable to continue hiking with his boots coming apart, Mr. Berger searched Sarajevo from top to bottom seeking Resin and Epoxy. He found what he saught and carefully glued the frayed and separated materials back together using the inner magical Goretex sock as a backing to make sure they wouldent separate further.
With the decay of his boots halted Mr. Berger continued his journey across Croatia and into Slovenia before crossing the terrible mountains and forests to reach Budapest Hungary. In Budapest Mr. Berger was contacted by another representative of the Fabled LOWA boot company. They told him that LOWA was a german company and that he could find a replacement once he Reached Germany. Strengthened by the news and with his temporary fix holding his boot together, Mr. Berger continued on through Poland and into Czech to visit the famed city of Praha. From Praha with a fresh coat of Epoxy Resin he made his way into Munich.
But LO! In Munich his pleas for help went unheard and the great treasury of boots was kept closed to him. In this time Mr. Berger again called out to Mr. Bruce and the fine young woman from the Fabled LOWA. They found for him a man who would take up his cause and fight the great bureacracy of the Giant. After much deliberation contact was finally made with Mr. Ludy. Mr. Ludy, a Mage of Quality assurance for the Fabled LOWA asked Mr. Berger for Photos of his boots and a detailed description of what had happened. These provided Mr. Berger made his way to Hamburg leaving Munich and its high walls behind. It wasn’t until Mr. Berger reached the Netherland and entered Amsterdam that Mr. Ludy was able to craft a solution to his problem.
The sage wrote out a very specific Email and included contact information for Mr. Berger, Proofing his claim and authorizing dealers to directly replace the boot instead of sending it to the LOWA HQ and having it mailed back (taking anywhere from 2-6 weeks).
This done it was time for Mr. Berger to head out on a new adventure, to seek out LOWA distributors that had his size and make of boot. Mr. Berger searched high and low in Amsterdam, Antwerpen and finally found one in Koln.
Mr. Ludy then authorized the exchange of Mr. Bergers shoes and an Upgrade to the LOWA Renegade GTX MID for all the trouble caused to Mr. Berger.
Mr. Berger’s faith restored in the quality and strength of the LOWA Brand, as well as his commendations to the great Mr. Ludy who went far and beyond to ensure his customers satisfaction, our ballad ends with Mr. Berger sitting happily with two fresh, unbroken boots wrapped around his little toes.
So happy,
So exciting, a true Legend.
Leave a Reply