With the passing of my uncle, comes the second affirmation that this lifestyle is viable. I miss him and I want to be a part of the ceremony that celebrates his life. However, at this juncture I do not see how that would be possible. I think that in the end he would rather that I continue on, follow my dream and press forward taking advantage, as he did, of every day. It’s a conflicted feeling. Return home, attend the funeral and celebrate his life with family…Or remain, celebrate his life alone, physically but mentally connected to my family and to him. A hard question.
Another question also arises. What is it that I must do now? I need to make decisions regarding my future and what I am planning to do as time passes. Looking at the decisions I’ve made, I realize I settle for something and grow to enjoy it without attaining a passionate burst of unstoppable will that would carry me toward a single end goal. Instead, I make do and work my way through the experience as though it were an exercise. Strange this connection to it and my experiences. International relations… a mixture of sociology, liberal arts, urban systems, planning, political science, public administration… what a trip. Throw into the mix a class on cultural awareness and dancing and you’ve got a real melting pot of ideas and disciplines. Not so much interdisciplinary as tutto disciplines. Ha.
Allora, che altro? Troppi, too much, always too much. There is a mixture of aggravation and motivation that keeps me constantly pushing forward seeking the next new experience, and because of this restless nomadic spirit I believe I need a constantly changing environment which is always demanding I develop new skills and relate to new experiences. Without it I get bogged down in a wrote pattern and my productivity and motivation falls.
Communque, there is a feeling in the air…change…a charge which is overwhelming. I’ve got a bit of work to do to finalize my current journey. Complete these videos, write summaries, cables, riassunti… sempre lavoro anche al mio paper on the future of Milano.
So much time is left yet it will fall away so quickly. And now is also a time of planning…a general outlook on the cities I must visit.
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